Friday, November 5, 2010


No, not like a pub or alcohol realted bar, but the bar that actually may determine whether or not my entire law school experience will become obsolete... I started filling out my bar application for the MD bar in February. It is kind of an exciting idea but then you get into the actual application and you want to poke your eye out.

A lot of it is my own fault. I have such a fun "colorful" past that it is taking forever! I have to list all the places I have lived in the last 10 years--well I was a bit of a nomad and so there are a lot. And they want specific dates--I really have no clue what specific day I moved into my apartment in VA 5 years ago. I only lived there for 3 months and I still have to put it! Seriously--maybe some people keep really good records of where they were and when, but I did not!

Plus they want all my academic information starting with high school. That's fine but I went to three high schools and three undergrad institutions before going to law school. I don't remember the exact date I went to BYU summer term in freaking 1998. Seriously. This application is going to be the death of me. After this application the Bar exam iteself is going to feel easy.

On a more positive note--I lived a lot of cool places, met a lot of awesome people in all my travels and wouldn't change one bit of my adventures just to make the application process easier.

I cannot believe it is actually time to do this! AHHH! Good luck to any and everyone who has to go through this horrid process!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Not what I expected

As I begin my last semester of law school (I know, I know, I can't believe it either), I realize that my life is not exactly what I expected. In fact, it is so far from what I had planned for myself I really cannot fathom it.
When I was 12 I was sure that I would be married by the time I was 18, maybe 21 at the latest. I would be the young, hip mom with the house that all the kids would want to come to play at. I would be a stay at home mom, maybe doing some stuff on the side, writing, or something, and I woudl be happily married to some amazing person. If my plan would have been executed as planned, I would have at least a 10 year old if not a 12 year old, along with 4 other children, every 2 years after my eldest. I would still be in Utah (probably) and maybe happy with my life. Well, acording to my 12 year old self, I would be deliriously happy and love my life.

Instead, I am 32, single, living in a small town outside of Boston MA, in my last semester of law school. After which I will be moving to the DC area to try and find a job. I have never been married. I have no children and I am away from my family (which is harder at some times and easier at otehrs). I am also the happiest, most stable I have ever been. Now I know that some of that just comes with age and the whole maturing process, but for me, I know that a lot of it comes from the fact that I have had so many opportuinties to really decide who and what I want to be. I have travelled to some amazing places around the world, I have lived in DC, VA, NH, MA, UT, CA and all over in the last two states. I lived in Ireland for a summer. I have made friends on all these places and I have learned so much about what I needed to be the happiest. I have experienced things that I would not have been able to experience if I had lived out my plan. I would probably be unhappy, divorced with no education. I have seen this pattern in almost all of my friends lives who got married young, with nothing to fall back on. I have seen this in people who lived to get married, who never experienced living on their own, moving to a new place not knowing anyone and making it. I have struggled. I have suffered. I have felt so alone I wondered if anyone would know if I disappeared. I have loved. I have laughed. I have cried. I have LIVED!

I am not living the life that I expected. And I thank God for that almost every day.