Moth's, spiders, and bugs in general.

So life here at camp has forced me into a lot of reflective periods. My latest one has been about the moth. I know, random, but there are a ton of these suckers here. Most specifically, Gypsy (maybe) moths. They are beautiful! There are a lot of seriously gnarly spiders here (which I hate by the way, but we pretty much invaded their habitat so I fell a little more guilty about killing them--not that it stops me--but only if they are in my face or creeping me out!)

Anywho--Moth's--There are so many here and the other day I found my self studying them. They just come and land on you, on your computer, the piano, etc. So this beautiful moth, supposedly called the gypsy moth. It is huge and amazing. So they have furry bodies--and I was wondering about their life span and even their function in life. I have no idea what moth's are for. But the other day I saw a gypsy moth and someone had torn it's wing off and so it was dying and I started crying. I was kind of surprised by this since you know, they are a bug, but as I thought more about it, moth's are actually kind of cool.

It might just be a sign that I have way to much time on my hands because I have literally been comtemplating the life of a moth. I know, but there are so many bugs here and Moth's seem to be the coolest. Anyway, I just looked at google and they are just called green moth, whatever. They are gorgeous. I felt really bad for all these moths who keep getting killed because peopel are dumb. I think maybe I need to go into like animal rights. Maybe it is bad, but I can handle people getting injured etc, over animals. I know, but aniamls are helpless. They don't deserve it...except spiders are other biting insects. hate them!

Fourth of July

So this year of course I am at camp and missed the amazing Miley Cyrus at Utah's stadium of fire---so heartbroken...eh--not. So they had all these really fun activities for the campers and stuff and there was a BBQ etc. I was kind of depressed becuase the 4th is one of my absolute favorite holidays and I really kind of wanted to be at home doing family stuff and watching the fireworks and everything. Anyway, sadness everywhere on my part--joy for the campers.

I knew that we were going to see some fireworks over the lake and I knew that would be cool but ya know, there was no way it could replace Donny Osmond singing "staduim of fire" and all kinds of stuff. SO--they started the thing with camp fire singing and they sang the usual patriotic songs--it was good--then they stated a fire in this bin--and the announced that there were going to retire a flag. I had no idea what they were talking about--but suddenly all these really cool quotes were being read about the flag--I think they were different parts of a poem--it was really cool--then they took the flag that they had flying over camp for the last 10 years and burned it. It was crazy. Everyone stood upa nd I just started bawling.

I had never really thought about what the flag stood for. I mean, we have all the usual textbook answers and stuff but if you really think about it--it has such a deeper meaning, especailly right now when the nation is in so much turmoil, and I don't just mean the war ya know. There is so much to it--with all the things that people are doing to each other, to themselves. Independence day shouldn't just be about how we broke free from Englad or whatever. It represents freedom from all kinds of oppression. Our country as a whole, we continually oppress those around us, those within our own country.

I just kept thinking about all the sacrifices that so many people have made from the beginning of time to make sure we have a free land. I kept thinking about stuff in the BOM as well about how this land will be choice as long as we serve God and it is really kind of scary to see how many people really don't. I don't mean to sound all preachy but I just really love our country and hate to see it destroy itself from within. Poverty, abuse, porn, etc, we just hurt ourselves and each other. How many of us are slaves to our addictions? Are we truly independent? I don't know, I just kept thinking about all this stuff as the flag was burned and over the last few days what freedom, patrotism, and true independence really means to me. I love America and while I plan on helping the justice system and people in general when I become a lawyer, I don't think my lack of education should stop me from doing something now. What that is I'm not sure, but I know it has to start with my daily choices. The small ones that don't appear to make much difference, but if you look back at life, it is those small details, those things you said, made, felt, that really make the moments.

I cussed at camp today...

So for the first time in two weeks I totally used a cuss word today. I will say it was very warranted. Let me give you all a little scenario. I am one of maybe 4 mormon's here at camp and so I am trying to really keep my language clean. Well, today I had just finished taking a nice shower. I had just put on my garments and as I went to grab my bra I looked down at my boob--they tend to be in the way--and there was a huge thing crawling on me! As I investigated further it was a gigantic spider! Seriously huge! I screamed probably at the top of my lungs s@$! and flew around my room looking for something to save me!

At this point one of my cabin mates who has heard me screaming (yes, I kept screaming during the entire time---I know, I know) and comes out of her room. I run over to this woman I barely know yelling at her to get it off repeatedly. Now little background on this woman, she takes 5 minute showers, she is all natural and her job is basically called campcraft--she leads kids on hikes, camping, all outdoors and I am screaming like a freaking banshee about the giant spider on my boob. Ya. talk about mortified even more. Oh and during the year she even lives at like a campground place in Cali and takes schoolkids all over Yosemite and stuff.

So she calmly removes the spider onto her hand--and goes "hmm, I wonder what kind of species this is" as she walks it outside. Really? What species! It was on my freaking Boob! I, still frantic, smartly replied, it is the kind that lives in my freaking underwear drawer! Then I kept apologizing for swearing and scrfeaming like a mad woman. That is my life at camp as of today. Spiders. Bugs. And as of 1 this afternoon, kids. I am a wreck! YAY CAMP!

Yikes!

So I only went to a coed sleep away camp once in my lifetime--it was called clear creek and I think I was in the 6th grade or something. It was only for a week but that was enough. I had a horrid memory come back to me this morning as I was showering (in our shower with no curtains...classy).


I remembered that this one time, at sleepaway camp, I was one of the silly girls who had developed early and thought it would be super cool to take a shower and on the way back from the shower to not only go in my towel but to be sure and walk by the boys bunks. It was night time, they were all getting ready for bed and so my friends and I all went to the shower house. They had all decided to do the same as me, going in the towel and such but they all chickened out. Not me of course. I was fearless. Yep, not stupid, fearless.

Anywho, picture this, evening, me, the girls, towel, holding all my shower stuff, walking by the window of whoever it was I liked at the time, him, looking out the window at that precise moment, me...being amazing, tripping on a log as I try to flip my wet hair instead of watching the trail, dropping my shower stuff and letting go of my towel. Oh yes, the towel, he saw me...and I mean SAW.

Anyways, today in the shower I had a flashback and thought, hmmm, maybe I will share. Just one of many of the humiliations in my wonderful, amazingly, blessed life!

Hello from camp

So, I have been at camp for just overf 24 hours...and it is freezing tonight by the way. It isn't bad. There are a lot of bugs, the piano is out of tune, everybody already knows somebody else because they are either returning or working here with a friend, but it is doable. The area is beautiful and when I figure out how I will post some pictures of the camp. The people are really nice but you knwo when you can tell that people are forcing it because they feel like they have to be nice and then the conversation lapses into that really uncomfortbale dead air...ya that is how today has been for me. AWESOME!
However, I have't been super outgoing myself. I have been nice and friendly, but again, it just feels forced. Don' t get me wrong, there are some freaking aweosme people here, my A-TEAM (also know as the arts group) are really cool and nice but it just seems to already have so many little clicks. I hate clicks. Hate. But it is all good and fun and the setting could not have been more beautiful. I know I am where I need to be and maybe I'll learn something about myself. Like today for instance, I learned that I freaking hate biting flies and I get into these wierd kill the bugs frenzys. It is super! Well, I will keep you all posted. Take care and I love some of you...you know who you are in case there are any random stranger reading it...

Crocs...the evil shoe

So these shoes are like the really evil version of Birkenstocks. I used to wear those in high school and I loved them, along with all the hippies, and zoobies (only I did not wear them with socks!). So I needed some light shoes for camp that can get wet that are less than a billion dollars (chako, keene, etc) and so I gave in to this un-natural shoe--Croc. They are bright blue. And they aren't the normal croc style, they are the lindy style or something. The sick part is, I think they are really cute--they make me think of the jelly shoes I LOVED in elementary school. Anywho--I gave in...and I like it!

Circuit City

Circuit City is EVIL! AS you might have previously read, my camera is a p.o.s. I went to return it to the store forever ago when I got back from Europe since it froze on the Eiffel Tower after 2 weeks of owndership and they said, "oh sorry, get a new battery." So I did. And it worked for a minute, ok like 8 months off and on, and now it is again on the fritz. They will do nothing for me. It is only a year old! I hate Circuit City. I am boycotting. the end